The Stick Take » 2007 » October

October 29, 2007

My housemate Dan and I happened to watch “Trading Places” (1983) with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd on the weekend…

We got to talking about the age of several of the actors… and since we don’t mind a bit of a niggle… and as is our want… we came up with a wee bet…

There were a handful of older actors in the movie… and since it was made in 1983… we figured that at least a couple of them had likely departed this earth since the making of the movie… and we were fairly confident we hadn’t seen any of them in a movie in recent times…

So we wagered $20 on whether Ralph Bellamy (Randolph Duke - left), Don Ameche (Mortimer Duke - right), or Denholm Elliot (Coleman the Butler - below) was the first to pass away…

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Dan took Don Ameche… I took Ralph Bellamy… but I was secretly concerned about Denholm Elliot…

Have a go at it yourself… scroll down for the result… which… for a whimsical bet… was excrutiatingly close… as all passed within 2 years of each other…
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Don Ameche (May 31, 1908 – December 6, 1993)
Denholm Elliot (31 May 1922 – 6 October 1992)
Ralph Bellamy (June 17, 1904 – November 29, 1991)

Yup… Nailed it…

P.S. I know… I know… it was a macabre bet… but we have an excuse…

We were bored…



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October 23, 2007

I was driving to work in traffic this morning… and I happened to drive past an RACQ Roadside Assist Vehicle (my local equivalent to Triple-A)… with its bonnet up… and being attended to… by another RACQ Roadside Assist Vehicle…

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Perhaps I was tired… or maybe it is just how my head works… but I found it so ironically cute… that I almost giggled my travel coffee out of my nose…

It is reassuring to know… in these oft troubled times… that we live in a world that doesn’t mind taking the piss out of itself… at least every once in a while…



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October 19, 2007

“Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” (1990) is indisputably Tom Stoppard’s (“Shakespeare in Love”) best written work. It carries a little bit of a Samuel Beckett “Waiting for Godot” feel… but with a great deal more wit and creativity…

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Sure “Shakespeare in Love” won people’s hearts… and picked up plenty of Oscars… and while I enjoyed it immensely… compared to this it had just a little too much of a “made for Hollywood” feel for me… kind of like dating a beauty queen… sure they look good… and they probably make you feel good… but they sometimes seem to be lacking just a little in substance…

But this film won both my heart and mind… kind of like finding your soulmate… captivating and intriguing… witty and intelligent… and one you don’t want to tear your eyes away from…

I believe one of the critical factors here is that Stoppard wrote the screen adaptation of his own play… and then directed it. As a result you know… without question… that what you are seeing is not simply someone’s interpretation of words on a page… but is a rare example of the artist’s mind truly being brought to life…

The premise of the movie is simple… it follows the progress of two minor characters… Rosencrantz and Guildenstern… in one of Shakespeare’s greatest tragedies… Hamlet…

Indeed in simple terms… it is a play within a play…

Sometimes however… it is a play within a play… within a play…

And for a brief staggering moment… it is a play within a play… within a play… within a play…

For those who have seen the film… this was the moment of the puppet play re-enactment… which formed part of the “Players” play… which forms part of “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead”… which is a play… within the play of Hamlet…

Phew… ok… time for a lie down…

It sounds confusing… but if you keep a few simple things in mind… it becomes a lot less complicated…

The key premises are:

1) R&G have an identity crisis… they are simply unaware as to who is who. The script of Hamlet lends itself to this ambiguity because as the characters spin in and out of the play, they are always addressed as a pair. A large portion of the wordplay revolves around their own subtle attempts to work out which of them is which…

Guildenstern: Rosencrantz?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Guildenstern?
Rosencrantz: What?!
Guildenstern: Don’t you discriminate at ALL?!

2) Basically… Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are summonsed by the King and Queen of Denmark to help them discover the cause of Hamlet’s melancholy. If you know your Hamlet… you will know the reason why Hamlet is troubled… because within weeks of his Father’s (The King) sudden and mysterious death… Hamlet’s Uncle (The King’s brother)… marries Hamlet’s mother (The Queen)… and usurps Hamlet’s right as heir to the throne… and takes the crown as King of Denmark…

Hmmm… suspicious much?

Rosencrantz: To sum up: your father… whom you love… dies. You are his heir. You come back to find that hardly was the corpse cold before his young brother pops onto his throne and into his sheets… thereby offending both legal and natural practice. Now… why exactly are you behaving in this extraordinary manner?
Guildenstern: I can’t imagine.

So R&G have been given the task of finding out the cause of Hamlet’s madness… and set about undertaking their own peculiar form of clumsy detective work to identify the root cause…

Guildenstern: I think I have it. A man talking sense to himself… is no madder than a man talking nonsense… not to himself…
Rosencrantz: Or just as mad…
Guildenstern: Or just as mad…
Rosencrantz: And he does both…
Guildenstern: So there you are…
Rosencrantz: Stark raving sane…

3) Despite their obvious existential identity issues… R&G know their lines in Hamlet perfectly… and deliver them on cue when the play catches up with them… indeed it is quite amusing at times to observe the real play of Hamlet going on in the background… But for the most part… it is simply a play within a play… and as such is a rare chance to observe two bit characters as they kill time between “scenes” while the rest of the play unfurls around them…

Rosencrantz: Do you want to play questions?
Guildenstern: How do you play that?
Rosencrantz: You have to ask a question.
Guildenstern: Statement. One - Love.
Rosencrantz: Cheating.
Guildenstern: How?
Rosencrantz: I haven’t started yet.
Guildenstern: Statement. Two - Love.
Rosencrantz: Are you counting that?
Guildenstern: What?
Rosencrantz: Are you counting that?
Guildenstern: Foul. No repetition. Three - Love and game.
Rosencrantz: I’m not going to play if you’re going to be like that.

4) R&G have a sense of imminent fate… like life has a predetermined path for them… (fate in this case in the form of a script) and they stagger onwards towards a tragic inevitability despite their attempts to deviate… right until the moment their fatal destiny becomes apparent…

The Player: Generally speaking… things have gone about as far as they can possibly go… when things have gotten about as bad as they can reasonably get…

The Player: We are tragedians, you see? We follow directions. There is no choice involved. The bad end unhappily. The good… unluckily. That is what tragedy means.

As they stand in the gallows:
Rosencrantz: That’s it then, is it? We’ve done nothing wrong. We didn’t harm anyone, did we?
Guildenstern: I can’t remember.
Rosencrantz: All right, then, I don’t care. I’ve had enough. To tell you the truth, I’m relieved.
Guildenstern: There must have been a moment at the beginning, where we could have said no. But somehow we missed it. Well, we’ll know better next time. Till then.

Since there is no guesswork required as to the fate of the main characters (even if you don’t know your Hamlet… the movie title should give you a clue…) you should be able to sit back and be thoroughly enchanted by R&G’s surreal journey towards inevitable and impending doom.

Now many critics panned it… citing that it was overcomplicated… and at times “too witty”… as if that were possible. Don’t get me wrong… it will not be to everyone’s taste… but I do sometimes think that quite a few critics either became overwhelmed… or simply didn’t “get it”… which is more of a reflection on them… than the actual script…

But I will be the first to admit… because the wordplay is so intricately clever… but also extremely fast-paced… I enjoyed it even more during my second viewing…

Rosencrantz: Do you think Death could possibly be a boat?
Guildenstern: No, no, no… Death is “not.” Death isn’t. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can’t not be on a boat.
Rosencrantz: I’ve frequently not been on boats.
Guildenstern: No, no… What you’ve been… is not on boats.

The Player: The old man thinks Hamlet is in love with his daughter.
Rosencrantz: Good God. We’re out of our depths here!
The Player: No, no, no! Hamlet hasn’t got a daughter! The old man thinks he’s in love with his daughter.
Rosencrantz: The old man is?
The Player: (sighs) Hamlet… in love… with the old man’s daughter… the old man… thinks.
Rosencrantz: Ah.

In addition, many critics labelled Richard Dreyfuss (The Player), Tim Roth (Guildenstern) and Gary Oldman’s (Rosencrantz) acting as over the top… but one must remember that it is written in a true Shakespearean vein. The tragic yet surreal nature of the play calls for a theatrical lend to the acting… and with that in mind… quite frankly… they nailed it…

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So if you are drawn to period pieces… enjoy witty banter… and relish in genuine onscreen chemistry between actors (Oldman and Roth were born to play these roles)… then this film is most definitely for you… (but it might pay to watch Hamlet first… Kenneth Branagh’s preferably… but Mel Gibson’s in a pinch)

But golf clap Mr Stoppard… golf clap… 10/10…

I think if Shakespeare were alive… he himself would chuckle at this imitation of a true comedy of errors… as was the great writer’s forte.



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October 10, 2007

I was wandering the supermarket the other day… and I happened upon the pet food aisle…

And it got me wondering…

Why is it that cat food is predominantly fish and seafood focussed… but dog food is predominantly red meat focussed?

Cats aren’t natural fisherman… I mean… you don’t see many cats crawling out of the surf dragging a freshly caught tuna…

I realise it may simply be a matter of fish being a preferred taste for cats… despite the fact that seafood is not within the realm of a cat’s usual dietary regime in the wild… or indeed in suburbia…

That being said… why is it that we don’t feed dogs more seafood based products? Do they not like seafood? I know a lot of dogs are happy to steal the cat’s food… Or is it that dogs simply prefer land-based meat forms… like Beef… Lamb… Fido… or Muffy…

Fido and Muffy? You think I’m joking…

Indeed… I wasn’t sure exactly what went into tinned pet food before I started writing this post… so I did a little research…

But brace yourself… here we go:

According to the “Made How” and the “Your Animal’s Health” website:

The primary ingredients in pet food are byproducts of meat, poultry, and seafood, feed grains, and soybean meal. Among the animals used in rendering are livestock, horses, and house pets which have been put to sleep. The National Animal Control Association estimated that each year about 5 million pets were shipped to rendering plants and recycled into pet food during the 1990s. They are generally listed as meat or bone meal in the ingredient lists.

I have to say… hats off. That’s recycling at its most efficient… albeit a trifle cannibalistic…

But now I understand why they have pictures of puppies on the can…

It’s because they are an ingredient!

And maybe that’s why it is called “Pet” Food…

But getting back onto my original topic… maybe we’ll never know why dogs and cats have vastly different tinned food ranges… short of undertaking a pet referendum…

Hmmm… but in thinking it through… I can’t see a referendum working…

Cats are too arrogant to turn up to vote…

And most dogs would simply eat their own ballot papers…

But in closing… I think that Ralph Wiggum sums it up best…

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“My cat’s breath smells like cat food!”

It sure does Ralph… it sure does…

But your dog’s breath smells like… well… other dogs…



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October 8, 2007

I was flicking through the cable movie channels the other day, and happened to stumble across a little gem of a movie called 13 Tzameti by Georgian Director Géla Babluani. The film won the World Cinema Jury Prize for a Dramatic motion picture at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival… and deservedly so…

This thriller has a Film Noir feel to it… is beautifully shot… entirely in black and white… and the only spoken language is French…

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As most of you will learn to appreciate… I love a movie with a clever premise… or with unpredictable, subtle twists… and this film did not disappoint… I had absolutely no clue where it was going…

In fact… if you do want to see this film… I urge you not to read any spoilers. I’m not talking a “Sixth Sense” or “Crying Game” kind of twist here… but you will know what I am talking about the moment you realise what is going on…

Sorry for being cryptic… but I refuse to give the plot away… the only thing I must warn you about… is that it is not for the squeamish or faint-hearted… so I won’t hold a gun to your head to make you watch it…

Here is a synopsis:

Twenty-two-year-old Sebastien leads an impoverished life with his immigrant family constantly struggling to support them. While repairing the roof of a neighbor’s house, he overhears a conversation about an expected package which promises to make the household rich.

Sensing the opportunity of a lifetime, Sebastien intercepts the package which contains a series of specific instructions. Following the clues, he assumes a false identity and manages to slip through the grasp of the enclosing police as he ventures deeper and deeper into the countryside.

The closer he gets to his destination and the more people he meets along the way, the less he understands about what he is looking for. Ultimately, he comes face to face with a ring of clandestine high stakes gamblers placing bets on the outcome of a game with uncompromising rules.

It is a winner-take-all thriller, where an unfortunate young man is transformed into a contestant with no way out save his luck.

I cannot wait to see Babluani’s next foray… 8/10



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