August 18, 2007
I spent some time travelling through Europe recently, and of course I ended up in the beautiful City of Lights – Paris.
Having never been to Paris, I was of course anxious to do the first thing everyone should do when they arrive…
I know what you’re thinking… and… no… you clichéd amateurs…
It’s not “Climb the Eiffel Tower”…
It’s not “Wander the Champs-Elysees and gaze adoringly at the Arc de Triomphe”…
It’s not “Marvel at the architectural beauty of the Notre Dame”…
No… first thing I did was visit the Louvre… to undertake man’s most daunting, yet ultimately fulfilling quest…
And before you predictably blurt out “The Quest for the Holy Grail… Da Vinci Code style”…
No…
I was to attempt…
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Challenge!
What is that I hear you ask? The rules are simple… Louvre Virgins… within one hour of entering… and without guidebooks, maps or asking for assistance… must seek out and photograph one artwork created by each of the four Ninja Turtle’s namesakes…
“Leonardo, Michelangelo and Donatello… Make up the team with one other fellow Raphael… He’s the leader of the group… Transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop… Pizza’s the food that’s sure to please… These ninjas are into pepperoni and cheese…”
That’s right… laugh you ignoramuses… but the challenge is extremely daunting for two simple reasons…
1) The Louvre… for the uninitiated… is… hmm… how do I best describe it… oh that’s right… it’s freaking massive!
2) Photography is not allowed in certain sensitive areas of the Louvre… areas that contain works by… yep… you guessed it!
So how did I fare, I hear you ask? It was a perilous journey… one that can be attempted but once in a lifetime. A quest wrought with dangers that would challenge the hearts and minds of adventurers weaker than myself…
Stop the melodramatics and cut to the chase?
Well I entered the Louvre at 11.40 am…
At 11.52, I found myself marvelling at the marble mastery of Michelangelo’s Captif (l’Esclave mourant)… the attention to detail was astonishing… but I must say… slaves back in Michelangelo’s day did seem a little noncy…
At 12:04, I almost walked straight past Donatello’s La Vierge et l’Enfant… (this was understandable, as it was about the 8000th Madonna and Child I’d seen…)
The next half hour was frustratingly fruitless quest-wise. Admittedly I did spend some time gazing in wonder at my favourite sculpture - the “Winged Victory of Samothrace” as she stood guard in the landing of the Daru staircase… which incidentally was designed and built to display her…
She looks so majestic and powerful… Sure… she’s missing her head… and arms… but you must agree that she is breathtaking… so cut her some slack… she is over 2200 years old. And hey, if she’s good enough to be Frank Lloyd Wright’s favourite… she’s good enough to be mine…
Nike… Goddess of Victory… mraow…
Anyway, by 12.30 I was in a crowd of people staring haplessly at Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa… but with the massive security presence, I couldn’t risk a snapshot, for fear of being caught short, and escorted from the premises without evidence of a work by Raphael…
So instead at 12:36… I chanced upon Raphael’s La Vierge a l’Enfant… I have to say… what is it with these artists and their virgin infatuations?
So there I was… 4 minutes to go… and one master to locate… I was starting to panic…
But all of the sudden… and to my ultimate relief… at 12:39 I stumbled upon Leonardo’s John the Baptist… posing evocatively on a rock in the classic “what time is it” pose… (albeit wristwatches hadn’t yet been invented…) oh… and why people think Da Vinci might have had a thing for boys is beyond me…
But that is by the by…
I had achieved victory with one minute to spare!
* My photos are on the left, numbered in order of success… better representative photos for comparison are on the right…
So how does one celebrate achieving life’s greatest challenge?
Rules dictate that upon achieving victory… one must scream out… at the top of one’s lungs… and in a clear and heartfelt manner…
COW-A-BUNGA DUDE!!!
P.S. For some strange reason security then deemed it appropriate that I saw no more of the Louvre that day… not sure what that was all about…
Posted in
Stick Trekker |
Totally tubular dude! Radical adventure. But I gotta pull you up on one thing. LEONARDO was the leader of the TMNT not Raphael. Everyone who is even half a fan of the turtle knows that one.
Comment by Nigel — September 26, 2007 @ 12:52 am
Yeah… well… uhm…
Congratulations! You were the first to spot my *obviously deliberate* mistake! You have won a year’s free subscription!
Whew… pulled that off I think…
PS Now fixed… thanks Nigel
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